Abbe Buck's Blog (pre-book)

True Beauty

Posted on: September 2, 2012

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I was always a bombastic one. It was fight or flight. But I find I am changing. Yes, people do cheat, lie, gossip, and they can be cruel. I can easily find myself getting in a sandbox with the gossip part, or being angry at being wronged. I used to have a highly charged take-no-prisoners attitude. At time it is still necessary. But not as much. To take it easy and take things as they come makes me want to give back even to those who truly need “me” even more. I search for beauty now, and have left a lot of the other “gray to black” folks like at the curb. It does no good to even mention there was no need for rudeness. No. Why? True forgiveness is letting go of the reason ‘why’, excusing the other,simply moving on.

Now I prefer to see the beauty in people and things around me. We are truly the way that we are living our lives. That is why I want to give back. I thought, how shall I do it? In reaching out when truly asked. And by using my gifts to reach others. You see, I am lucky. Why? Because I have love in my life, and I have beauty inside of it. Yes, I do. I see beauty in my husband’s gray green eyes, hear it in my dog’s howl. I hear it in the wail of an off-key sax at a small event I went to recently. I love to sing, and I see and hear beauty when an alzheimers patient recognizes a song I have sung to them. I see and hear and feel beauty when an older woman hugs me and asks if I am okay. I see beauty in the river in my town, deep, dark, muddy, full of fish and birds that live in and out. If feel beauty in my voice, and can use it, I also feel beauty in my knees, one a replacement, the other to be replaced. They mean I can walk. That is wonderful for me, and makes me want to give back all the more. This is what matters. As for anything else that is unimportant nowadays, I can just walk away, chin up, knees intact.

Love,

Abbe B.

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